I am flying back from California with my family right now on a red eye flight to Orlando. I’ll do anything to save a couple of hundred dollars, I guess. Well, if that’s the case, I would have never flown out here in the first place.
After writing a number of blogs over the last year, I’m realizing that my life really encompasses some particular themes. I am very connected to my past and I place a great deal of value on my roots as I define them. Now I have no particular interest in family genealogy. I’m leaving that to some family members who have great interest in the subject. But, I am interested in what makes me the person that I am.
Read the blogs. I had a number of emotional trips to Kansas City for reunions and a funeral. This caused me to reflect on the impact individuals and circumstances have made upon my life. In a trip this summer that I didn’t blog about (I insinuated I would since I called my blog about my first summer trip “Reunion Part I”) I ended up taking my family on a twelve day driving trip to Kansas City and back primarily for my high school reunion (#30 if you must know). We spent time on the way up and back staying with and reconnecting with close friends and family. We stayed with one of my best friends in Kansas City and also with a cousin who really I think of more like a sister. Literally, within a two week span I had an opportunity to visit with most of my close friends and family.
I also wanted my kids to see the places that influenced me. So, we drove by the houses I lived in, visited all of the schools I attended. Well, that is a lie. I attended two elementary schools in southeast Kansas and the school I attended in 2nd through 4th grade is now an empty field. We discovered this when I announced to my family, “Coming up on your left is Mohawk Elementary School! Tada!” The field wasn’t very impressive. But, Hillcrest (now Westridge Middle School), Shawnee Mission West High School (we toured the whole thing as part of the reunion), Baker University and the University of Kansas (I stayed too long in the new Hall of Fame at Allen Fieldhouse) were very impressive and in much better shape than when I attended them.
So, believe it or not, my kids liked the trip. It was a great reconnection for me and I felt like these pieces of me that are so significant now have form in their collective memories.
Therefore, without hesitation, we scheduled a trip to Grandma and Papa’s house in California. My children have never been to their house. We spent Christmas at my brother’s house in Los Angeles (my sister lives in LA also) five years ago. Only my daughter remembers what wasn’t recorded in pictures. Again, a long visit with family and a chance to draw my children closer to the people who molded me into the person I am today.
I really wanted my kids to connect with my brother and sister. They are both quite a bit older than me. My relationship with them resembles that of an uncle and aunt rather than siblings. I didn’t want to force the interaction. But, let me tell you a few of my observations.
One night my kids ate dinner at a table with just my brother and my niece, my brother’s daughter – the kids table (for kids of all ages on this night). They did what I had hoped. They laughed at his quirky sense of humor. It is the same humor that he and I share and has made me laugh all of my life. It was awesome to hear them laugh and giggle.
They have interacted with my sister on a number of occasions previous to this. It is still fun to watch her talk to them the way she used to talk with me when I was their age. She really cares about what they say and how they feel. Her deep interest values them as she valued me when I was young.
The interaction went beyond my siblings, of course.
We took a number of day trips. I drove the van while my step-dad sat in the passenger seat. My wife sat behind me and my daughter next to her. In the way back sat my two boys and my mom in between them. I simply listened to their banter. She would ask questions. They would respond with silly answers. She would laugh at their answers. My wife commented that her joy for life and easy laugh is one reason that she has lived such a healthy life. I countered that it is also her most endearing quality to others. Mom always laughs at my jokes and now laughs at the jokes of my children. We all love it and love her because of it.
All of my children’s first cousins are quite a bit older. But, my kids easily connected with all of them, playing games and going on walks. It is their second cousins that are their age. Playing was easiest with them, of course.
All of my trips in 2011 have been unusually rewarding. I can’t think of another year in which I have reconnected with people so thoroughly. I don’t live in the past. But, I certainly value it as it has shaped the person that I am today.
Even more importantly, I recognize that the present quickly becomes our past experiences. All of that is definitely worth more than the price of multiple plane tickets. Now, I just wish I could sleep!
